holidays

NYC 2023 (our longest post yet…)

NYC 2023 (our longest post yet…)

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As I suspected I would happen, I wasn’t entirely truthful in my last post. I wasn’t back to talk about our travels. I rarely posted anything about our lives. I knew days and weeks and activities would sweep us into a frenzy of crazed schedules, bag drops in the living room, only to pick up a different activity’s bag and run off again. Best of hopes and intentions, but realistically, we hurried meals so we could clean up and prepare for another day. I took the photos to remember, but they live on my phone or camera, feeling more like an expectation. “Share me with someone,” they seem to say, “you haven’t even really looked at us again.”

We had spring and summer. The year rolled on. Jeff and I took a trip to Minneapolis. I stayed at the hotel and worked while he attended a conference. During his time off, we went to an art museum and a farm to table restaurant with a walk by the river.

We went to Colorado as a family and finally made it to Meow Wolf, something we have been intending to do for years. It did not disappoint. We attended Jeff’s brother Mitch’s sweet outdoor wedding ceremony by the Arkansas river. Jeff officiated. The boys were groomsmen. We danced and ate and spent time loving on family. Colorado in the summer is invigorating.

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There were baseball games and baseball games and baseball games… Sam had a stress fracture in his elbow so the games were coupled with doctor visits and months of physical therapy and return to throw programs. We swam and hiked and played with lots of friends. There were books and coffee and tea and a garden and museum visits and beautiful nights under the pergola. Summer rolled into fall.

Jeff had a very quick conference in Dallas and I met him there. I decided to put work aside this time except during my 5 hour layover in Denver. While in Dallas, Jeff was on the SMU campus. So we met up in the late morning (after I took advantage of the hotel’s fitness room, pool, and outdoor patio) and walked during his break. I then visited the college’s art museum which was all obtained from Spanish artists. There was a temporary Sorolla exhibit on the upper level I was able to see along with their permanent pieces. Later in the day, Jeff and I decided to go to the new Grapevine Meow Wolf. We made the right choice. The Real Unreal (Dallas) was totally different from Convergence Station (Denver). It was much smaller and easier to get through in a shorter trip, but also a different theme, story and environment. We enjoyed both for their uniqueness.

By this time school was in full swing. Work and coaching and volunteering for the adults, class and activities and music for the kids were eating up all of our time – good things, but going fast. Marching Band was a new one for us this year and it has been an experience. Ben has been preoccupied with it since mid-summer band camp when they were practicing 8 hours a day for a couple of weeks. Every day before school the kids hit the field early and practiced again during school and then again once a week after school. They have competitions on the weekends and tryouts for jazz, show, and honor bands outside of concert band. Ben plays three instruments now. Sam started trumpet this year. Our home is full of music.

The Marching Band succeeded in so many ways this year including entertaining their families who came to watch them about 20 times. I never got sick of their show which is saying something. We were pretty proud – also humble brag, our band is really good, they got high if not top rankings at every competition they participated in. Their hard work paid off. The show the instructors put together was pretty amazing too.

This all culminated in the band’s trip to New York to march in the Veterans’ Day Parade. Ben’s school was 1 of 3 schools invited to march in the parade and they have been planning for this for quite a while, fundraising and practicing. Jeff and I asked Ben if he’d like us to chaperone, admittedly I was kind of hoping he would say, “No.” I don’t function well on little sleep. I don’t sleep well outside of a bed. My migraines are triggered by a lack of sleep. I’m a little leary of my tolerance of that many teenagers for that long. But mostly, Ben is our kid who has a difficult time being away from us, away from home. He never really did sleepovers other than with grandparents and even then he struggled. So I wanted this trip to be a moment of independence for him. I wanted to give him room to stretch his teenage wings and see the wide world with his friends and bright eyes. I love nothing more than to watch newness and enlightenment dawn on the faces of my children, but… roots and wings… I have been trying to work a little extra on Ben’s wings lately. So we were surprised when he said, “No,” but I was a little relieved. He was, however, on board with us taking a vacation with Sam, centered around watching him march. So we planned it. Ben would be riding a bus out, staying in Jersey, and running around the city with the band. We would fly in, stay in Manhattan, and do our own little tour. We made some plans to meet up a couple of times if it would work.

Thursday morning dawned and we all put the finishing touches on our packing, brought the dogs to daycare/boarding and dropped Benny off at the high school. It was both bizarre and exciting watching him walk away with his luggage. We didn’t have long to linger as we had hit the road to Kansas City for our flight. After a drive, a flight, and then a long uber ride into the city, Sam was so over travel for the day. We checked into our hotel and cleaned up a little and decided to get out and walk around. Jeff and I were reminded the Bryant Park Winter Markets would be in full swing with the skating rink and the Christmas tree so we headed that way. Sam fell in love with the park and the fountain, and wanted to spend half our trip there. We stopped for a bit and then walked a little further to show him around Times Square. He hadn’t been there since he was a baby.

Sam came to NY twice when he was small, once when we was 3 months old and again when he was about 10 months. Everything was new to him now. He hated Times Square. It was loud and smelly and probably a bit overwhelming after a long day of travel. He did however love the Disney store, because you know, Disney owns everything now: Marvel, Star Wars, etc. By the time we made our way through there we were all wiped, so we stopped at Whole Foods for water and picked up meals which, honestly was perfect. We settled into our room, Jeff watched the Iowa women’s basketball game. Sam watched the Backyard Scientist. I watched AJR’s live album release on Amazon Music.

Friday morning we got up early and took the subway to the south side of the island for a ferry to Liberty and Ellis Islands. We had tickets booked to the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty first. It was a chilly, windy morning on the boat but the ride out was still breath-taking. We had taken the Staten Island Ferry a couple of times. It did not compare to these views. Stepping off on the island, we took a self-guided tour up further than I expected. We of course took the stairs – we always take the stairs, maybe once we could take an elevator?, but then we would’ve missed the big bolts… so we take the stairs – to the two separate levels to look out. It was a lovely view of the city and Ellis Island, walking all the way around the base and we could still see the statue by looking up. We felt we did well with this tour as we were unable to book the crown (not realizing we needed to do so months in advance). It would be a nice view, but only just higher up and not of the statue. We were satisfied with our tickets.

We talked with Sam a little about how many people came through here and saw this view for the first time, imagining what they felt and where they went from here, and then had children and grandchildren who moved all around the country and what that meant. Then we visited the museum to learn a little about the history of the statue, how it was made, and its meaning. There are two museums on the island. The first we visited in the pedestal seemed odd because it appeared to be missing a lot of pieces. The second, made this understandable. The latter is a newer museum/visitors’ center which houses the old torch, replaced in the 1980s, along with a lot of the replicas and artifacts pertaining to the statue’s build and restorations. We were able to breeze through as most of the information is the same.

Next stop was Ellis Island, we again talked about the cultural and historical significance when we arrived. Sam did the Junior Ranger programs at both islands so he was able to immerse himself a bit in the museum as well. We also had a connection to Ellis Island, Jeff’s great-grandmother’s name is on the wall there. There is a website of records for Ellis Island which anyone can search to find their relatives’ records. Only certain people have their names on the wall. It was interesting and significant to find her there, to know she had been there, to wonder who else of our ancestors may have come through that place, wandered off a boat full of hope or anxiety or both looking for a new life.

On the way back we stopped at Castle Clinton to see what that was. Turns out it was a fort and there was a fascinating Park Ranger who happened to be on duty that day willing to share his passion for history with us. This fort was one of many during the war of 1812 and when the British came into the harbor and saw how fortified New York was they turned around and left. This was huge, because had they attacked and won, or had there not been enough troops – we would have lost everything. New York was where the treasury was at the time, but the British moved on, were defeated elsewhere and the rest is history. The ranger was an art historian – he designed some of the national park stamps, he had Statue of Liberty figures older than the statue herself which had been sold to fund the build. He had old coins from all over the world to show the wear of copper, his oldest was a 2,000 year old Roman coin. We could’ve stayed all night talking to him, but more people arrived and we knew we had more city to see.

So, we hopped on a train, made a quick stop at Grand Central, Sam was super impressed and then headed to the Empire State Building. The lobby windows were decorated with Elf-themed dressings for Christmas. We made another subway stop to catch Benny just off the bus heading into a restaurant to eat – exhausted. We gave him a quick hug and left him to his friends.

We headed back past Macy’s to get pizza (Sam’s two wishes for this trip were the Statue of Liberty and pizza – check and check) which Sam decided we should eat in Bryant Park – so we did! We walked around the Christmas Market a bit and then headed back over to Macy’s to check out the Christmas decorations (the windows weren’t revealed yet, but the inside was totally decked out). We rode the wooden escalators up to the toy floor and played and Sam fell in love with the sugar shop, but it was back to bed for another early morning.

Saturday was Veterans day and the parade was only a block from our hotel. So we had breakfast, grabbed coffees and walked over. We met another band family from a Georgia marching band who were originally from Iowa and Nebraska and had a great time hanging out watching for the bands to come together. It was a big parade with lots of groups of active and military and veterans on motorcycles, horses, fire trucks, police cars, and walking, handing out flags. Seeing our kid march down Fifth Avenue was a pretty amazing experience. We followed him about a block to the NY Public Library. I laughed a little as he glanced up when he noticed it (how couldn’t you?). It was a bigger crowd down there and we couldn’t follow them anymore after that. So we headed over to Central Park.

When we got in to the park we immediately saw parents from our school and got the information on when the students would be meeting up at the park so we knew we’d have some time to explore. We rock climbed and strolled for a bit. Then we found the carousel. There’s this book the boys and I love called Micawber about a squirrel who loves to visit the Met and discovers the joy of painting by sneaking home with an artist one day and stealing some of her paints. He lives in the top of the Central Park Carousel and keeps a museum for all his animal friends up there. We read it often when they were little. Jeff decided to check prices on the carousel and it turned out not only were they reasonable but we could actually ride (not just stand next to the horse like I usually do). So we all three rode. I felt like a kid. We later found out that Ben rode it too. Then we strolled the literary walk and mall and had a hotdog and walked through the grass until we saw the kids arriving so we headed over to Bethesda Fountain to meet them.

Ben was wiped. He said, “hi” and then moved on, distractedly. We decided to as well. We walked for a bit before heading to our next spot when we happened to run into Ben again. So we grabbed him for a family picture. At that point his chaperone discovered who we were and stopped by for a chat. Ben was ready to explore the park with his friends and we were off to The Met so we parted ways.

The Met was a totally different experience for us with Sam along. Typically, Jeff and I skip most of the Egyptian, Greek and Roman, Armor, and furniture rooms and head straight for the artwork. Sam was the opposite. He was really into the stuff we usually skip. So we slowed down and looked at the stuff he liked and he tried to look at some of the stuff we liked or just sat on a bench…until we got to the Van Goghs and Monets.

After the museum, we told him we had a surprise. He was kind of done for the day and wasn’t very happy we were making him go to another spot, but we coaxed him onto the train and told him it would be worth it. When we hopped off in Greenwich he asked if we were going to the Lego store. We told him we could, but we had somewhere else, better. Then we walked about a block and revealed a Harry Potter Store. I had no idea this place existed but was looking at a couple of book stores I wanted to hit and saw it on the map. It. Was. Magical. I’m not trying to be punny – it was, truly. There were piles of wands, shirts for every house, Christmas ornaments, movie props, a whole section was Honeydukes selling candy, a Butterbeer bar…. We wandered around for a long time, made a couple of purchases and finally headed back to bed.

The next morning was Sunday and my birthday. Our plan for the day was to see Ben and go to Moma. Anything else would be frosting on my birthday plans cake. We got up and got ready and headed over to the Radio City/Rockefeller area to see if we could catch Ben around the time he would be arriving for his tour. We got lucky again and arrived about the same time as the busses. Ben hopped off, gave a quick albeit embarrassed birthday hug to his mom and took off with his group while we looked for things to do for an hour. We hadn’t expected to find Ben so quickly. We wandered the area, looking at the skating rink, decorations – the tree was up, but boarded up and being trimmed – stopped in St. Patrick’s and the NBC store. Finally FAO Schwarz opened and we were able to play for a bit. Everyone was having a great time exploring and I knew we would have to make a stop at the big piano before we left, but it was getting close to the time for Moma to open. We finally found our way over to the piano and Sam knew it from the movie Big and got so excited he forgot to take his shoes off to play. He quickly stepped off and as he was attending to that I felt a tap on my shoulder. There was Ben. He ended up coming to the same place we were. We were able to hang out with him for a few minutes until it was time to leave for the museum.

Finally we made our way up to Moma. None of us had been there before. There were so many surprises. Some of the exhibits were new to us and interesting. Some were pieces we had studied or knew well and were excited to discover. Sam was delighted to see a Dali, a Matisse I had included in a poem stopped me, we loved the Monet room, we expected the Van Goghs and still they made me emotional. He always does.

At about 12:30 we were all getting a bit hungry and needed a moment. Now, I should tell you at this point that it wasn’t just by chance that first night that I was watching the AJR live album drop. It comes back into the story now. I knew they were releasing a new album. I knew they were doing a couple of shows while we were in NYC. I had even looked at tickets. They were pretty outrageously priced by the time I looked at them. AJR is my favorite band right now. They got us through lockdown. They are my happy music. They were the first live music we saw in covid-times and it was a euphoric experience to see them and be amongst a crowd of happy people singing and dancing again. Amazon notified me of the live event. I watched, I was following along with what they were doing – it was fun. They had announced the day before that on Sunday noon they would be announcing the name of a park where they would perform a free pop-up show for their fans starting at 1pm. Everyone would have 1 hour to get there. Lucky us, we had bought the unlimited metro cards for the week. Jeff and I talked about it.

At 12:30 when we sat down to figure out lunch, I said, let’s look at what park AJR is in. It was Madison Square Park. Totally doable. Jeff and I discussed it again for just a moment. We told Sam, we are going to do a thing now, another surprise. We checked that we could come back to Moma on our tickets the same day and we found the nearest subway station.

I willed the train to come, to drive faster, for our feet to move. We got there just as it was starting. It was amazing. We stood in the autumn sun with the leaves on the trees turning in the middle of the city, not far from the stage, watching my favorite band. They sang a few of their new songs, a few of their old songs. Such an awesome experience.

Coming out of the park, we watched Jack greet a couple of the super fans and songs ringing in our ears, walked across the street to the Harry Potter store again. We had to go back, it was right there. We walked around a bit again and picked up a couple of things we hadn’t the day before and wished we had. Then we walked the 10 blocks to the Strand Bookstore where I’d been wanting to go for a while, but felt was too far out to ask to go previously, but it was my birthday, so today I asked. 18 miles of books. It was worth it.

We then headed back to Moma. We had to see the 4th floor as recommended by Jeff’s cousin, Lisa. And of course Sam and I wanted to finally see the Moma store in person. We had a hard time getting him to leave. Sam also learned how to dial a phone in the Dial-A-Poem room which was a thoroughly entertaining experience.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk at dusk with the lights of Christmas decorations and the city all coming on was pretty magical. We headed back toward the hotel area. The boys asked what I wanted for dinner. I said, “honestly, pizza in the park and some hot chocolate sound pretty great”. So we made our way through the Lindt store, over to get pizza, and then to Angelina (the spot we got hot chocolate in Paris) and sat in Bryant Park one more time for dinner. It was a pretty fantastic birthday.

In the morning we had an early flight, so we packed up, took an uber to the airport and flew to Kansas City. It was fairly uneventful travel home. We drove to Iowa and had plenty of time to settle in before picking up Ben – who rode the bus back on almost no sleep. We were all tired, Ben most of all. Going back to normal life the next day, it took us a few days to catch up on sleep, recover, unpack and share our experiences with one another. It was such an interesting trip with just Sam, Jeff, and me. Ben came back with changed opinions on a lot of things – it was so good for us all to have these experiences, but in the end, we were glad to have the gang back together.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

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Over winter break Ben was signed up for a couple of classes through Polk County Conservation. One of them was canceled due to a lack of interest. I was pretty disappointed, it was a survival course about the proper way to build fires and survive in the wild. Perhaps I should suggest the class for adults – I am honestly really interested in learning how to do these things better (though my fire building has improved as of late). The other was the one he was really excited about so we were all glad that one was still on. It was an air rifle class. He learned gun safety for the first half and then they went target shooting for the second half. He had a blast and found out he is a pretty good shot.

I am not going to run out and buy him a gun anytime soon. The kid is still a bleeding heart (though he won’t admit it when it comes to actually shooting something other than a target he shies away). But I do like the thought of him having an understanding of how the equipment works and an ability to use it. I don’t mind him target shooting, and at some point, gun use will be his own decision. In the meantime, as long as guns exist, I’d like the boys to understand how to be around them safely (and if I’m being really honest, not be the only one in the room who doesn’t know what to do with one).

While Ben was in class, Sam and I drove the loops of Jester Park checking out the elk and bison and enjoying some time alone together. We decided we were hungry and had a brunch date at the diner, just the two of us before heading back to pick up Ben.

The rest of the week consisted of trips to coffee shops, lots of board games, books, and long chatty walks until New Year’s Eve. In the past this day has consisted of the Science Center for the balloon drop, decorating the house, and inviting over friends for a night of games or movies. This year, however, the boys really wanted to keep the whole affair low-key. I think we wore them out doing all of the Christmas things. So we spent the day relaxing together and the evening having a simple meal with raspberry sorbet, something I really love, for dessert. The boys sipped on sparkling cider in fancy glasses while we played board games and video games together until midnight. We intermittently checked in on the New Year’s Eve shows and dressed up a little, but mostly, we just spent time together. It was so nice.

January 1st has changed for us too. We used to make big, sweeping resolutions like weight loss, exercise goals, and points for success. Now we look toward betterment, balance, and hope for a good year ahead. We have a fun tradition of filling out a quiz each year for each member of the family. The boys like to read back the old ones. It’s starting to take a long time to get through all of them. But, we love it and look forward to some of the really funny answers they used to give or remember things about each other we’ve forgotten. We make videos for our hopes for the year ahead. I compile the one-second-a-day video from the year we just had. We watch and recall – we can never believe all that happened in one year.

Reflecting on the year we had, looking to the year ahead, it may be an artificial break in time. We may have invented the calendar and decided January 1st was the time to turn over the year, but real change or not – it is a time we all have chosen to contemplate our lives for a moment, embrace the joy those around us have given us, and make purposeful choices on how to move forward. I think that is a beautiful thing.

It’s Christmas!

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On Christmas Eve each year, we do a few of the same things. We eat pasta soup, drive around town to look at the Christmas lights, have Christmas ice cream, and the boys open one present – just like we did when I was a kid. The boys almost always choose to open their presents from each other (my sister and I chose the biggest ones, but not my kids, they think they pick out the best ones for each other). This year, Sam didn’t have anything to open since Ben is building his present over the winter, so they opened their joint presents from Uncle Brian – just as exciting. After checking the Santa tracker, they get tucked in for sugar plums dancing in their heads. At 14 and 10, the tradition continues.

Christmas morning doesn’t sound like footie pajamas pitter-pattering down the hallway anymore but I can’t say it isn’t just as sweet, though slightly more violent, to have two giant boys and two large dogs crashing into our bed saying “get up! get up! it’s time!”

I always start by getting breakfast in the oven which to the kids is infuriatingly slow no matter how quickly I get it going. So, this year Ben helped with the egg bake (the one Jeff’s mom makes) to speed up the process. It was nice to have him in the kitchen with me and really did help move things along. Cinnamon Rolls and eggs in the oven, coffee in hand, pictures quickly taken by the tree – it was present time!

Sam has the best expressions when opening presents. I could watch him all day. Each one is the greatest thing he has ever seen and the thing he has always wanted, small or large, he gets so excited. His aunt Niki always says “that kid lives his life like an exclamation mark”. Sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion this is when he is getting really loud, but I still love it, because I think she also sees him living a life full of excitement, with a really big heart, and like everything is just the greatest thing he has ever seen.

Ben is more subtle, a lot more so. But if you watch around the teenage sarcasm and the way he has always been like a little wolf hiding his food, emotions, protecting his pack… you get to see the smiles that form at the corners of his mouth and eyes when something touches him. If you sit back, he sometimes will come to share it with you. Our boys couldn’t be any less alike. It is fascinating to watch them grow into these people.

Jeff and I had gifts as well. The highlights of which were some future adventures. I am so excited to have a camp shower. I was on the verge of tears I was so thrilled. This makes booking campsites so much easier if we don’t have to worry about showering. We love getting to stay in the National Parks and one of the biggest downfalls is that they don’t have any means of showering. Problem solved. I gave Jeff an adventure date, which we have been meaning to do more of, in hopes this would start a trend. It’s a bike rail gift card for next spring. We are going to pedal the railroad in Boone, IA. I think he is looking forward to it.

We spent the rest of Christmas day talking to relatives, playing with our new gifts, and eating. We made brisket, veggies, and gravy and had some of Jeff’s mom’s homemade bread. Sam requested french silk pie, so we bought one (I was not going to take that on after all the treats we made). And Sam and I decided to take out the fancy dinnerware for once. We finished out the last of our Christmas movies and Jeff had to concede that not the entire list was going to be completed this year – it was long.

Sam said it was his best Christmas yet. I love hearing those words. We are doing our best to give them traditions that are special and meaningful to our family. We are doing our best to give them our time together. We make room for friends and family, for sharing, laughing, celebrating, and enjoying the seasons.

We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas.

Winter Break and a Snowstorm

Winter Break and a Snowstorm

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On the third weekend of December, my schedule gave to me, a snowstorm and winter break. We actually started the weekend by having Jeff’s parents down. We went to Dome after Dark at the Botanical Center which has become one of my favorite things to do there. One of the boys characterized it as “super chill” and I think that is an apt description. They turn down the lights and have a color-changing glow on the plants. There are lanterns on tables, snacks, and lo-fi music playing. It’s incredibly relaxing.

The miniature trains were also out in the gardeners’ show house which all my guys love to see. This year there was a Japanese theme since the Botanical Center has been recently focusing on Asian Heritage. They celebrated Governor Ray welcoming refugees to our state and the cultural richness it gave to the area. I was really disappointed to have missed these events and hope the Ray Way Celebration is something the Botanical Center continues. I believe we will attend in the future. It looked like something that would be of great interest to us and many others.

We spent the rest of the weekend together with Jeff’s parents, watching Sam play basketball, going to a shop Jeff’s mom and I both have shopped at for each other online but hadn’t yet made it to in person – and we all found stuff we liked there! We enjoyed meals together, exchanged gifts, and played games.

The following week, Christmas break started for the boys and the weather took a turn for the worse. The windchills reached nearly -40 with the Real Feel in the -50s. We knew it was coming and had our groceries ready. We had all our Christmas shopping done. So, we were able to stay inside and spent most of the time baking treats for the neighbors as planned, which also helped to keep the house warmer. Sam had a day before the temperatures dipped too low he was able to play outside with a neighbor friend, and he bundled up to brave the weather to make gingerbread houses with that same friend on one of the really cold days. The dogs snuggled by the fire and we watched Christmas movies under blankets, wrapped presents with space heaters close by, and drank warm drinks until Christmas.

Christmas Time Together

Christmas Time Together

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A few years ago we discovered the Holiday Promenade in the East Village of Des Moines. On that first night, the shops opened late with sales. There were carolers on the corner serving hot cocoa. And the ice skating rink had its opening night with Christmas tree lighting and an appearance from the big guy in the red suit. They pulled off a pretty magnificent evening and we were hooked.

As the East Village has swelled in size over the years, so too has the resplendence of the Promenade. There are horse-drawn carriage rides, performance art, a reindeer and sleigh, ornament and wreath-making nights, snacks, Santa and the Grinch, and fireworks. I adore visiting this event as often as possible during the month leading up to Christmas. So, the second weekend of December, that is how we spent our Friday night.

Ben wanted to make gingerbread houses with a friend. So, Sam, Jeff, and I went to the Holiday Promenade. Sam and I especially delight in the mid-century modern luxuries of West Elm, so he spent some time trying out all of the chairs (and fur blankets – the kid knows his way around comfort). We shopped for a couple of gifts in the shops and then checked out the artist for the night: a display of interactive orbs which when you shined a light on them and then on your face it projected you and your background larger than life onto the orb. It was eery and fun. There were carolers on our lighted walk back up to the horse-drawn carriage where we ran out of time to catch a ride because Ben got done early. Sam got to say a quick, “Hello” to one of the horses and we vowed not to miss this next year.

Saturday was a sports day. Sam had basketball and baseball. We squeezed in some time at the library, however, where we checked out a few books and we always find things to purchase at Novel Findings. It is seriously such a steal to purchase things in that area. I shouldn’t be allowed to go in there. I am the worst kind of book hoarder – I absolutely think I can read them all.

Sunday afternoon was the big one. We surprised the boys with tickets to the Santa Express. We purchased these the day they were released and had them on the calendar all year. We have been going on this train since the boys were very small but missed going during covid and figured this was pushing it as their last year. They were game but I could tell they were on the edge of “are we too old for this?” Once they settled in, they seemed to enjoy the ride just as they always had, and Jeff and I soaked it in knowing it would likely be our last – well at least with the boys, maybe we could ride it ourselves, or if someone wants to loan us their kids.

I think there’s something to that. I miss a lot of the things we do together. I miss them being small. I miss their little faces lighting up with big smiles and looking to me for encouragement, confirmation, or just out of sheer joy, but a lot of times – I just really liked doing this stuff and it seems kind of boring to go to the zoo or the science center or on a Santa train without them. I think if I showed up at Storytime I might get some weird looks. But I really like doing that stuff. I know I’m supposed to be an adult doing adulty things and I sometimes do, but I really liked doing stuff that kids do with my kids. They don’t always like to anymore. So, we soak in these last moments and act like weirdos trying to figure out how to be the kids we are in the grown-up bodies we have.

On the Santa Express, there is singing, a story, cookies, and chocolate milk. We take the train to the North Pole. When we get there the conductor comes on and punches our tickets in a silly way and just behind him, Santa and Mrs. Claus (does she have a name?) come on the train. They stop for each child taking their wishlist and handing each one a bell – like the Polar Express (but different due to copyrights). Then we all wave goodbye to the Clauses and head back over the big bridge singing and telling jokes to the station.

I love this tradition. The drafty old train with the cheesy story and jokes. The cookies and Christmas lights. I get a little sad every time one of these things ends, knowing we are getting a little further from babyhood, a little closer to them moving away. My brother reminded me recently that right after Ben was born, I was on a lot of meds for pre-eclampsia I do not remember this, but I said to Aric, “he’s going to leave me one day”. Aric laughed about it. It does seem a funny thing to say at that moment. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with a love I didn’t know I could feel that I didn’t ever want it to leave. It scared me. I am spending my days trying to hold things more loosely, not grasping at attachments, finding ways to love and let go and grieve the things that pass, feel the sadness and let it go. Teenagers really make you feel that. They simultaneously can love so big, push so hard at limits, and pull for their individualism. It is a strange land to stand in, loving a teenager. I have a lot of gray hair lately.

But this is a story about Christmas time. And we had a great weekend savoring the time we had together.

All of the Christmas Things

All of the Christmas Things

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Our kids GREW UP over the last few years. Covid did a number on the world, throwing us all into a tailspin. We all missed a lot of things, some of them monumental moments. We had to find ways to grieve the loss of life events and expectations we thought were just going to be there.

In ways though, our family felt really lucky. We witnessed so much we normally would have missed. We fell into rhythms together, a sort of choreographed dance we had to learn and practice day after day. There were fights and runs on the treadmill because we could handle the sound of each other anymore. There were also deep discussions and belly laughs. There were daily walks and puzzles. There were creative meals and learning not only what each of us wanted to do but how to bend a little, like dancing.

Stepping away from that and parting ways was tough. We get crabby about schedules and miscommunication and stress. When we get a break and come together – we remember our rhythm.

The holiday break this year felt a little different. We celebrated the holidays early with both extended families and we had a lot of the shopping out of the way. It felt like we had a lot more time to do holiday stuff around town. As the boys are getting older, we felt like we missed a lot of their “last”s. We decided to try to get to as many of our favorite holiday events as possible before the boys didn’t want to do them anymore.

We made December a month full of all the Christmas things. The first weekend, on Friday we attended Champagne and Mistletoe in Ankeny’s Uptown. We have always enjoyed this in the past. This year they expanded it to several weekends and a lot of the shops we tried to visit were closed during the event. It was kind of a bummer. It felt like a small-town gathering in the past with carolers and a horse and trolley ride and reindeer. This time it was a bunch of mostly empty shops and a line of people outside to see a reindeer we could see through the fence. I hope this event picks up with the opening of the new stores, better management (shops should be open), or bringing it back for just one night. It’s difficult to contend with the District at this point.

Saturday morning we went to the Botanical Center to make swags. In the past, these were large door swags or wreaths. They were very tiny this year, but we made some super cute ones and hung them from our windows. We enjoyed them all season and it is always such a fun event. They also served hot cocoa this year. It was really good, the thick kind like they melted a candy bar in a cup – Sammy of course had two, with toppings.

Jeff’s aunt, Cheryl, and cousin, Jeremiah, came to town from Tennessee. We had planned to take them to the Christkindlmarket, but since it was 12 degrees, we decided to stay at the Botanical Center. It turned out they loved the idea and we had a wonderful time discussing plants and hiking, walking around under the humid dome, and eating at one of my favorite lunch spots, Trellis. After a short visit with Jeff’s relatives, they headed out and we were off again too.

Dazzling in the District in Prairie Trail, Ankeny has become a pretty big event. I really enjoy this one. I like walking around the shops there. Nook and Nest and Charlotte Louise Mercantile are two of my favorites. The library is always a fun stop with crafts for holidays around the world and our storytime friends from when the boys were small, who we pop in to see. It’s also a good place to warm up and run into familiar faces before heading out to the tree lighting and fireworks. There’s just something extra magical about Christmas fireworks. It might be their unexpected delight or all the lights on the ground mixed with lights in the sky. Or perhaps it reminds me of the story from Bill Bryson’s Neither Here nor There when the people all come out at midnight on New Year’s Eve and shoot off Fireworks and then go back inside and go to bed. I love that story.

Sunday we decorated the Christmas tree while watching Christmas Eve on Sesame Street. Monday Sam and I had Peppermint Mochas with his reading homework. That evening was one of the scheduling flubs I referenced in a previous post. I told a friend I’d help her with some volunteer work and suddenly realized last minute we had purchased tickets that evening for a drive-through light show. It wasn’t on my calendar.

We all piled in the car and had just enough time to get there. We drove around oohing and aahing the lights. This was one of the things the boys didn’t want to miss. I was glad we made it. My friend and I were still able to split the volunteer duties and Jeff and I put labels on chapsticks watching a Christmas movie late one night. It was perfect. But there is more to this story… this is not yet all of the Christmas things.