Week 6: Marnae’s Birthday Surprise
Birthdays are a big deal at our house. They always have been, and Marnae has always been the leader in that effort. She loves planning birthday parties, and it seems the boys’ birthday’s have been legendary around our group of friends ever since their very first ones. From a full-fledged Harry Potter Party for Ben complete with Quidditch and four full classes (divinations, potions, wand making and herbology) to a time period Robin Hood party for Sam complete with bow and arrow lessons and a feast fit for a king for everyone we knew. Marnae’s creativity when it comes to birthdays is unmatched.
However, this leaves us with one little problem; since she is the one who usually does the planning, her birthdays often leave a little something to be desired. Let’s put it this way, I am certainly not the brains in the world of birthday party planning. In fact, the last time I attempted to plan a party for her we ended up with a bunch of people sitting around our living room watching a UFC fight. I’m not a fan of UFC and I think it’s safe to say Marnae loathes it. Since then, her birthday has largely consisted of the boys and I making her a “fancy” dinner at home or taking her to one of her favorite restaurants. She is always gracious and I truly believe she does enjoy it, but it’s certainly not what she deserves.
This year Marnae had a milestone birthday and I was determined to give her one she would always remember. Luckily for me I had the perfect set up. We decided to go on a trip overseas (which we are currently on as I’m writing this post) and we both agreed that this year the trip was her present. It’s an elaborate trip and unlike one we have ever taken before so we planned it together and she was very excited for her birthday this year. Little did she know I had something else in the works as well.
Planning for the special night began more than two months prior to her actual birthday when I asked her good friend, who recently moved to St. Louis, if there was any possibility she would be willing or able to come back to Iowa to be what I’ll refer to as the icing on the cake of the night. She wasn’t sure if they could make it work, however because they were actually leaving on a trip to San Diego for her husband’s work a mere five days later, and he was going to be in Kansas City the day before and maybe even the day of the party. I asked them to talk it over and let me know. Here’s my tip for planning these parties: Make sure all of the people you are inviting know it’s a surprise from the get go. If you do it’s far less likely they will spoil the surprise or feel pressured if they can’t make it.
Anyway, back to the story, a couple of days later I got a text from St. Louis that our friends were in. After that it was all just logistics. It was important to me that Marnae be surrounded by some of the people she cared about. So I began contacting people. There were a few conflicts and some dear friends we wished could have been there, but ultimately we ended up with five couples, Marnae and myself. I had a plan and everyone who was able to attend was on board and participated like champs.
My goal was simple, at each stage of the plan I wanted Marnae to be a little surprised and to think each stage was “the” surprise. That process started weeks before when I told her I had her birthday covered and that we were going to dinner with friends. Then I informed her I wanted where and who to be a surprise. The list of people we have been trying to make plan with is so long the door was wide open for her imagination.
Our first stop was a place she frequently wants to go, a fun little Bar in downtown called Hello Margerie. If you haven’t been there check it out they have great drinks and a quaint atmosphere. She knew we wouldn’t be getting dinner there so I told her we were just going to grab a drink before dinner and our reservation was for a little later. So as we walked in Marnae was cheerful. Enter couple number one. They were there waiting and had drinks at the table and smiles on their faces. Marnae was surprised and happy to see them. We enjoyed conversation for a while then I told her it was time to go. She was a little disappointed to leave so soon but I told her we had a reservation. Which we did, but she still didn’t know where.
Our next stop was one of our family’s favorites, Centro in Des Moines though it’s not really a “kid” place. They are always friendly and serve great food. It works very well for our family. Plus, it has a vibrant atmosphere so regular kid noises don’t stand out, and we can feel comfortable. Now for tip number two. If you’re planning a multi-stage surprise, make sure you give yourself enough time for all of the stages. I missed on that one a little bit. We were already behind schedule and only had enough time to walk in and meet couple number two before we moved on to the next place. Couple number two was great and understanding so before Marnae could even get over the surprise of having seen them we were off to location number three.
We walked down the road to Bubba on 10th Street. There is a backstory with Bubba and milestone birthdays that made it a must stop for this particular trip, but we’ll touch on that some other time. Bubba was not the final stop of the night for us so we grabbed a drink and waited for couple number three. Couple number three was a little late, but they had and excuse. Marnae’s parents wanted to be involved so I used them as a decoy. They came early in the day and we had cake and presents, then they were going to watch the kids while we went to dinner. So needless to say Marnae was very surprised to see them walk in. Her first question was “Ummm…who’s watching the boys?” I told her the neighbor had come down to babysit so her parents could come surprise her. (It was a little lie for some misdirection.)
After a drink at Bubba I told her we had one more place to go. We hopped in the car and drove to our final stop of the evening, the new Django across from the Sculpture Garden. We were sad to see it close when it was forced out of its former location and we had been itching to try it again since it reopened. It did not disappoint. As we pulled up, I could see the excitement in Marnae’s eyes. This night had already exceeded her expectations and now she knew she was going to love dinner. But there were more surprises. Enter couples four and five. She was thrilled to see couple four, but was nearly brought to tears by her dear friend driving up from St. Louis. The remainder of the evening was filled with laughter, great conversation and even a few happy tears. Finally, Marnae had a birthday party she deserved!
Now, I know this is a long story and I appreciate you sticking with me, but there’s a little bit more. I needed to have our boys be involved too but unfortunately, am not yet able to trust them with a surprise this complicated. So instead I gave them a surprise too. I had written a letter explaining what was going and had Marnae’s mom give it to them after we left. Our friends from St. Louis are like family to us and have five kids of their own. They brought them to the house after we left and the seven of them had a night filled with pizza, blanket forts and movies. I’m not sure they weren’t more excited about their surprise than Marnae was, but however it worked I’m glad it did.
Here’s my final thought: Marnae drives most of our weekly adventures. She is constantly finding things for us to do which improve our lives and make us more fulfilled and well-rounded people. But, every once in a while, it’s okay for someone else to step in and give the family an adventure. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate ordeal, but make sure you understand that it’s about them and not you and in the end you’ll find yourself enjoying things you wouldn’t have even thought of trying. Give it a shot you might even surprise yourself.
